Stolen Sultras
by Ashkebulashke
Summary: Saiyuki & Getbackers...Sanzo's sultras are stolen in modern day Japan, The Get Backers come to the rescue! Features an eating contest, Gojyo's love interest, and other side trips. R&R!
1. Sanzo: A discovery through cheesecake

Stolen Sultras

Chapter 1

Setting: Present time

_Dedicated to my friend, Patch. _

Sanzo dug through the laundry for the tenth time today, much to everyone else's surprise. After having arrived in Shinjuku, Japan by plane, Sanzo searched through the laundry basket in the apartment which he lived in, shared with Gojyo, Goku and Hakkai, his gold card being confiscated because the party was on leave for a month or two. At least he had a few thousand yen to split up with the other three crazy ones.

Well, back to Sanzo digging up the laundry. Gojyo walked by and tossed a wet towel, reeking of cologne, into the wicker basket. "WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR, YOU STUPID KAPPA!" Sanzo promptly stood up and strangled Gojyo. Goku walked in and smiled. "Sanzo, you've been in front of the laundry basket for hours. Why?"

Sanzo looked down at the little hungry one. A gigantic sweatdrop formed on his head. Sanzo groaned.

"I-I think I lost the scriptures."

Gojyo and Goku looked at Sanzo, then at each other, then laughter erupted. Not just giggles, Rolling-on-the-floor type laughing. Hakkai came in from the kitchen with a near-empty bowl of ramen, smiling as usual.

"What are you smiling at?"

"Ohaiyo, Sanzo. Umm...My face is naturally like this... Why are those two laughing?"

"Ahem, let me put this straight. I, Genjo Sanzo, have misplaced and/or lost the scriptures given to my by Kannon-sama."

Hakkai's smile became wider than usual.

"What's so funny, Hakkai?"

Hakkai was starting to turn pink. Then he burst out laughing with the other two.

Goku held the sides of his stomach, "I don't care if you hit us or anything anymore..."

Gojyo leaned on Sanzo's shoulder. "Imagine, the great Sanzo losing the scriptures?"

Hakkai just laughed on the table.

**BANG!**

A shot went outside a window and a dead bird fell on the road outside.

"Shut up! This is no laughing matter. Kannon-sama will KILL me if she found out! We need to get back the scriptures fast!" Sanzo's eye twitched, then he sat down, massaging his temples while the rest just stared at the back of his chair.

"Let's go to the cafe downtown. I need coffee."

Goku smiled. "Alright! I get to eat something! Do they have buns there?"

Hakkai consulted his Lonely Planet guidebook for the seventh time that morning. "Apparently the best cafe around here which also sells alcohol is called 'The Honky Tonk'."

Sanzo stood up. "Whatever. Go put on regular clothes. These make us look conspicous."

_**Meanwhile in Tenkai...**_

Kanzeon lazily sat on her throne, laughing at Sanzoikkou. Jiroushin, nagging as usual interrupted. "Don't you think that this is a serious matter?" Kanzeon then said "I know this place is famous for the retrieval services. Besides, they'll find it. I'm sure. But if this ever happens again, I better get ready." Jiroushin knew that Kanzeon was always right. It's gonna be a long week, Jiroushin thought. Another side trip? Of course. This was their vacation break, after all. What exactly did Kanzeon mean by 'Get ready in case this happens again?'

_**Back to Business... **_

Sanzoikkou walked out of their apartment, looking pretty normal. (Goku was wearing a beanie to hide his power limiter.) They turned right and walked into the famous, or rather infamous, Honky Tonk cafe. The red-haired shopkeeper immediately looked up from his newspaper upon hearing the bell chimes ring again. There were about 5 other customers, there was a hyperactive blond guy who was apparently fighting over the last piece of cake with a black-haired man. On the other table was a woman in a...very revealing dress with long blonde hair. The two other customers were talking softly to each other, one was blind. _Weird crowd_, Sanzo thought. He could already see the woman with the barbie-doll figure hitting Gojyo with the handbag she had on the table. Apparently, the cockroach was able to sit down with her. Sanzo shifted his eyes to Hakkai and Goku, who were carrying a large-sized cheesecake and two cups of coffee to the table where Sanzo was sitting down.

"I hope you can find your sultras, Sanzo." Hakkai said with his smile. On the cheesecake was written in purple icing "If something's stolen, We'll steal it back! -Getbackers" Below that were letters in white icing, "This is a paid advertisement" The blonde man and his spiky-haired friend stopped quarrelling and started walking to Sanzo's table. If only Gojyo and Goku could do that once in a while

Goku cut a piece of the cake and started gobbling it down. "What do you think, Sanzo? I mean, there aren't many youkai here, but there's a flood of people. Your gun's illegal, Sanzo! Hahaha..."

Sanzo resisted the urge to hit Goku. "You told everybody?"

Goku smiled weakly. "Yes...Those are the Getbackers." Sanzo twitched.

End of Chapter One. Hope you liked it! Please review...


	2. Ginji: Glasses and Bucket Hats

Stolen Sultras

Chapter Two

Ginji: These Strangers are Weird.

Things haven't been going well for the GetBackers lately. Not many rich clients, no new adventures. In other words, they were broke. Ginji, ever the optimist, always accepted even the cheap-paying jobs, much to the pessimistic Ban's annoyance. It was hardly even enough to get them instant ramen. Kind Natsumi, the part-time counter girl in the Honky Tonk cafe, would give them cake once in a while, when Paul Wan, the owner of Honky Tonk, wasn't looking.

The door chimes rang once again. Either it would be some of their old friends, like Kadsuki, Juubei and Hevn who at this moment were taking their daily coffee and cake in the cafe, or some random customer of Paul's. The people who entered the cafe were four guys, the Sanzoikkou. The travelling monk and his 'friends' were famous practically everywhere but here. Ginji and Ban paid little attention to the newcomers and continued arguing over the last slice of cake. Ginji, seated facing the door was curious enough to notice that there were four of them,

A blond serious guy_ "He's too grumpy..."_, a younger one wearing a red bucket hat "_Maybe we could be friends?"_, A red-haired man who looked a lot like Jackal_ "It says on his shirt 'Pimp Me.' "_, And a smiling man with glasses _"He could get along well with Ban, I think."_.

The redhead was eyeballing Hevn, seated in the table across Ban. Ginji snickered, knowing how angry Hevn could get at times. The blond guy took a table to their right, not saying a word. He had abnormally shifty eyes. The glasses guy and Bucket hat Boy were trying to order something from Paul, who was insisting that they didn't have meatbuns. Ban was eating the cake which Ginji had left unguarded while he was looking around, Ginji didn't seem to mind anymore. Something about the glasses guy and hat Boy made Ginji eavesdrop on their conversation.

Glasses guy had a friend named Sanzo who lost something...A "maten sultra". _What was that anyway? _Then Ginji overheard something about Demons and Tenjiku.

Hat boy nodded and said sadly, "I don't think we can go there if we don't find it. How did Sanzo's scriptures get lost anyway?"

Ginji smiled and pumped his fist in the air. Another job!

"Did Kougaiji follow us here?"

Glasses guy laughed. "Possible, but unlikely."

At that, Ginji disappeared and asked Paul, "Hey, can you do me a favor, Paul? Just give them...Thanks, Paul! Put it on our tab."

Ginji smiled. He walked back to his table, where Ban was polishing off the second-to-the-last slice of cake. "Here, Ginji. You have the last bit."

"Ban! I'm too excited to eat! We've got a job again!"

"Don't tell me those four guys have a job for us..."

"Well, they lost something and I asked Paul to advertise for us a little..."

Ban whacked Ginji on the head with his spoon. "They better not be cheapskates. Hey, where'd Hevn go to?"

o0o0o0o0o

Moments later, Ginji heard an argument brewing from the three guys' table.

Blond guy stood up and yelled at his two tablemates. "You told everybody?"

Glasses man looked guilty. "Well, Sanzo, your scriptures were stolen, so me and Goku tried looking for help. This guy called Paul, the owner of this cafe gave us a cheesecake for free and said that those two paid for it and they were part of a retrieval service..."

Ginji grinned at his partner, who was raising his eyebrow in disagreement. "This is our cue, Ban-chan!"

Hat Boy smiled weakly and pointed to Ginji and Ban. "Ahm, Sanzo...Those are the Getbackers."

The blond guy, Sanzo, twitched. "Goku, What good is a vacation when you can't relax?"

Ban whispered to Ginji, "Are you sure this is a good idea?"

Ginji paid no attention to Ban's misgivings. "Mr. Sanzo, I'm Ginji and my friend here is Ban. We're the Getbackers. If it's stolen..."

Ban rolled his eyes and said drolly, "...We'll steal it back. 100 percent Success Rate."

Sanzo groaned. "We're looking for the Maten Sultra, which got lost on the way to this idiotic place."

Glasses man pointed out, "Ah, Sanzo, to be exact, it got lost earlier in the airport because someone picked your shoulders...I mean, they're not picking pockets so they can't be pickpockets..."

Sanzo groaned twice as loudly. "Hakkai, shut up. You're making my head hurt." He looked up to Ban and Ginji, slightly interested. "I give up. How much do you charge?"

Ban brought out an intermediate pad paper and consulted it. "Oh, some few thousand."

Hakkai smiled. He had an idea. "If we join you in looking for it, will you cut the price in half?"

Ginji covered Ban's mouth and nodded. "We'll cut it by 25 percent!"

Ban, for once, agreed with Ginji. If those guys joined, the job would be easier and the pay would still be pretty good.

Sanzo and Goku looked a little worried at Hakkai's suggestion. It would be good, but Sanzo really wanted to take a break. Goku was just worrying about his eating pattern.

Goku then thought of something to support both his and Ginji's stomach. After all, he heard it grumbling loudly, like thunder. Thunder...

"Ginji-san, I have a proposition for you."

Ginji happily anwered the boy with the bucket hat. "Hm? What?"

Goku grinned evilly. "Are you good at eating contests? Because if you aren't and you lose to me, we get the price cut in half!"

It was Ginji's turn to grin evilly now. "I'm good...If me and Ban-chan win, then we get the price doubled..."

Sanzo and Hakkai covered Goku's ears and mouth before he could do anything else.

Hakkai looked worried. "Don't you think that's risky, Goku-chan?"

Goku took Sanzo's hand off his mouth. "Don't worry, Hakkai. if you like, you can join too. Me and you versus Ginji and Ban."

Ban and Hakkai blinked. It was body language for "_What the hell!_"

Hakkai then suggested something. "Ban, do you drink beer?"

Ban twitched. "Of course I do...sometimes..."

Sanzo stood up. "ParaParaaa! Goku vs. Ginji in an eating contest, while Ban goes against Hakkai in a drinking contest! I'll be judge."

Paul grinned secretly. "They'll eat alot, drink alot, and I'll get paid alot, hopefully by the blond guy in the Lacoste polo."

Ginji looked at everyone. "So it's agreed then? Tomorrow afternoon?"

"I'll put up a sign announcing this!", shouted Paul.

Sanzo, Goku, Hakkai and Ban stood up and did a High-5. "Tomorrow afternoon!"

Hakkai put a finger to his temple. "Um, has anyone seen Gojyo? I'm sure he'd love to watch."

Gojyo and Hevn entered through the back door. The blonde lady turned bright pink. "My, time flies so fast...Is this a good time?"

Gojyo put an arm on Hevn's shoulder. "Please, Miss...not in public..."

Ban fainted while Sanzo promptly whacked Gojyo on the head repeatedly.

**Next chapter, The eating contest!**

(Spoiler note: Kougaiji WILL come out, don't worry! Or maybe you should start...)

Ashke: Man, Hakkai...Are you sure you want to drink again? Not after what happened last time?

Hakkai : Look, Ash, I couldn't tell the difference between Hakuryuu and the pillow, K?

Goku: Hakkai could get drunk?

Ashke: Hakkai, remember what happened after that? wink wink

Hakkai: Please don't mention it...

Gojyo: You mean the weird dance you were doing while singing off-key?

Hakkai: Aww...You two never give me any breaks. Just don't describe it...

Ashke: Don't worry, I won't make you do anything weird this time. -hugs- Just read this here...

Hakkai: -reads from paper- Please review.


	3. Goku: Food Wasters go to Hell!

Stolen Sultras

Chapter Three

Goku: Food Wasters Go to Hell!

_Thank you, FanCharacterMania, for telling me about this slogan, FOOD WASTERS GO TO HELL! _

The last time we saw the Sanzoikkou, they were about to hold an eating (and drinking) contest with the Getbackers.

_**Today...**_

Goku woke up at 8 feeling pretty good. He hadn't slept so well since...Since last week. "_It must be the vacation getting to my brain..." _Who could blame him? He had a full meal for himself, for once. Not too much and not too little. Gojyo was 'busy' last night with something he wouldn't tell Sanzo. Goku didn't even want to know. Hakkai, on the other hand, was doing breathing exercises, supposedly for his drinking contest against Ban-chan today. At least Goku was hungry today. Sadly, Goku would have to wait a few more hours so he could have his eating contest against Ginji, with Hakkai up against Ban in the drinking department. Sanzo and Hevn would cover the tab, much to their own annoyance.

"Good Morning, Hakkai! What's for breakfast?"

Hakkai smiled. "I'm sorry, but no breakfast today."

Goku panicked. "Don't tell me...The eating contest?"

Gojyo clapped his hands. "Yes...The saru finally got something knocked into his thick skull. Too bad I can't join..."

Hakkai laughed softly. "You're always the first to get drunk anyway. Goku, you can eat this."

Goku stared at the green, limp object on his plate. "Cabbage?"

Hakkai smiled. "It aids in digestion...I think."

Gojyo laughed loudly. "There's a crazed doctor in the house..."

Goku sniffed the heaped vegetable on his plate. "I'm hungry, but not for this..." He yawned, still groggy. While his mouth was wide open, Gojyo stealthily flicked the limp cabbage into his mouth.

"Holy Sh...Stupid Kappa...", Goku spluttered as the oily cabbage slid down his throat.

Gojyo turned to Hakkai, ignoring Goku's insult. "Hakkai, What's that you're eating anyway?"

Hakkai smiled. "The same thing as Goku. Cabbage."

Goku raised an eyebrow. "Then why does yours look so much better?"

Hakkai's smile shrunk a few molars. "Ah, yours was the overcooked one."

* * *

2:00 PM 

Sanzo yawned in the Honky Tonk Cafe, just standing, or rather sitting, by with the other three. He and Gojyo had eaten a bowl of noodles from the downtown fastfood restaurant, Goku and Hakkai had eaten nothing. Goku was starting to get whiny because of this.

"Hakkai...I need food...and fast... My stomach hurts."

Gojyo, always harsh and untolerant, retorted with "You'll be eating an entire buffet in two hours anyway. What's the point of eating now?"

Hakkai rested his head on one arm. "Me and Goku haven't eaten anything in 17 hours, well, except for cabbage..."

Goku smiled. "You tell him, Hakkai!"

Sanzo raised an eyebrow. "This is for our own good...And money. Hakkai agrees with me."

Different people were starting to pour in. There were the two guys from yesterday, one blind and one with long hair, a man with spiky hair tied up in a white headband, a green-haired girl, some guy in a tuxedo, a weird-looking guy with sunglasses and a ponytail, a guy wearing a wide-brimmed hat (guess who!), and Hevn.

Gojyo grinned widely. "If anyone asks, I'm busy..." Much to Sanzo's annoyance, he stood up and walked to Hevn and Himiko.

Sanzo looked at his watch for the fourth time that hour. "Those two should be here by now... I don't know how much more I can stand coming from you two."

Goku pointed to Hakkai. "Don't blame me. Hakkai starved me. But for some reason, I feel nauseous."

Hakkai stood up and left his cup of coffee empty. "Excuse me, I'll go to the Men's room now..." (Do I really need to tell you why?)

Goku stuck out his tongue. "Excuses, Excuses..."

* * *

Ginji and Ban came around 15 minutes after Hakkai came out of the washroom. 

Sanzo glared at them. "You're late."

Ginji was unsurprised. "You're the one who's early."

Hakkai smiled. "At least they came."

Ban saw Gojyo out of one corner, with HEVN'S HAND ON HIS CHEST? Ban lost his temper.

Minutes after Ban strangled Gojyo, who soon had to be taken care of by the hospital, Sanzo looked at his watch. "We're 20 minutes behind, people. Take your seats..."

Sanzo looked up at Ginji and Goku, the game face taking effect. Well, Goku was looking a little nauseous. Nothing a little food woudn't cure. "You know the rules for the eating contest, First one to finish his whole pizz-" Sanzo was cut short.

Goku whined, "Sanzoo...Hurry up already so we can start the eating contest!"

Sanzo shook his head a few times. "I just saw something out of the corner of my eye...nevermind, First one to finish the 20 meatbuns, half-chocolate cake, and blue cheese wins. In 3...2...1...Go!"

The millisecond Sanzo fired his gun, Ginji and Goku started munching down their food.

Natsumi and Paul decided to act as commentary.

"Today's a bright, sunny day in Honky Tonk cafe and there's an eating contest going on!"

"Hey...Those are my karaoke devices! Anyways, looks like Ginji is in the lead!"

"A very messy lead. It's gonna take ages to clean that up."

Paul adjusted his sunglasses for a second. "Wait...Goku stopped halfway through the meatbuns!"

Gojyo, who was having his neck rubbed by Hevn and his back bandaged by Himiko, was the first to be surprised. "Eat, Saru! Eat for the sake of our money! What's wrong with you?"

Sanzo glared at Gojyo. "_Our _money? It was mine."

Goku held the sides of his stomach. "I don't feel so good..." He spat out the meatbuns, cabbage and wait...Cabbage? "This was your stupid fault, Hakkai! You gave me the overcooked cabbage!"

Hakkai scratched the back of his head. "I swear I read it correctly..."

Paul handed Hakkai his own copy of _Nutrition for Dummies_. "Cabbage, when overcooked may cause indigestion."

Hakkai slapped his forehead. "Sorry, Goku! I don't think you'll be eating much for the day!"

Ban laughed loudly. "Goku downed by his own dietician? You've got to be kidding me..."

Hakkai picked up Goku and put a bowl in front of his face.

Sanzo groaned. "Ginji, you can stop stuffing your face like a pig now. You won by default because _somebody_ here accidentally fed Goku overcooked cabbage."

Hakkai stood over Goku apologizing over and over. "Gomennasai, gomennasai, gomennasai, gomennasai..."

Ginji hugged Ban. "We won the first round, Ban-chan! All you have to do is not get drunk yourself and we get rich!"

Ban pushed Ginji off his back. "You got chocolate cake all over me, Ginji."

* * *

Hakkai sat on his side of the table, surrounded by unopened cans of beer, just smiling without any worries. Ban on the other hand, also surrounded by cans of beer, was trying to unnerve Hakkai with hollow taunts. 

Sanzo broke the exchange (of taunts) with his announcement. "First one to get drunk loses!"

Shido stood up from his seat between Gojyo and a mysterious guy wearing a wide-brimmed hat and shouted "GO, HAKKAI! BEAT SNAKE BOY!"

Ban was fuming. Hakkai blinked. "Turns out we already have quite a few fans..."

Sanzo bonked both Ban and Hakkai on the head. "Time to start in 3..2..1...GO!"

As you may well know, there was one chance out of a hundred that Hakkai could ever get drunk. And if he ever did, he would just lean on an arm and take a nap. Unlike Hakkai, Ban had a very low alcohol tolerance. The contest wasn't fair, but it was Mr. I'm-good-and-I'll-shove-that-in-your-face-glasses-guy Ban who suggested it. His fault.

_30 minutes and 25 cans of beer later..._

Ban put a hand to his head. "I-It's such a wonderful day outside..."

Hakkai laughed. "Have you lost it yet, Ban? That's my line."

Shido and Gojyo were busy shouting for Hakkai, though Shido was just doing it to piss Ban off. Ginji was the only one in the restaurant actually cheering for Ban. (The rest were just standing by) Goku was still on the verge of barfing whatever he had ingested after the cabbage.

Sanzo decided it was time to judge. He held up a fist. "How many fingers are these, men?"

Hakkai smiled. "None."

Ban put an arm on Sanzo's shoulder. "Heeeevn...What exactly did you do with that Gojyo guy...?"

Gojyo laughed. "He's lost it."

Hevn slapped Ban. "Are you gay or what? He doesn't have..."

Gojyo and Shido laughed twice as loud. Ban's judgement at this time was impaired. "Monkey boy..." He lowered his sunglasses and went back to his can of beer.

Shido immediately panicked while scratching himself and howling about monkeys.

Sanzo, when he regained his composture, asked Ban again. "How many fingers are these?" He held up three.

Ban blinked a couple of times and answered with a sleepy "Two?"

Sanzo raised an eyebrow. "No, you moron, it's four."

Hakkai laughed softly. "Three. Even the ref's drunk."

Gojyo had to take the torture of dragging Sanzo to the table. "I guess you won, Hakkai."

Ban stood up and started dancing around with Gojyo. "Hevn..."

Gojyo desperately tried to push Ban away from him. "You definitely won. STOP TRYING TO KISS ME, YOU PERVERT!"

* * *

The man wearing a wide-brimmed hat had tricked Ban while he was drunk, before he was knocked out, into telling him what he needed to know. The Getbackers, the most famous retrieval group in this side of Japan, were helping the crazy monk Sanzo and his chums retrieve the stolen Maten Sultra. This would be a little tough, considering that the retrieval agents had the powers of illusions, 100-kilogram grips and electricity at their disposal. As he found out in the cafe, the man in the tuxedo was there to watch the Getbackers. Turns out that he was one of their enemies. Meet Dr. Jackal, Ginji's worst nightmare. (I know the info is a little wrong...) The man entered his cushy hotel room only to be greeted by complaints. 

"Kougaiji, Now can we go home? I'm sick of this place."

"Doku, I told you, not until we get legal papers. We don't really have another way to go home. Being a youkai does have its disadvantages... In the meantime, we've got to protect this."

Two women, one not exactly one, came out from the kitchen. The smaller one hugged Kougaiji. "I knew Oniichan could do it! You finally nabbed it..."

"But Kougaiji-sama, why did you disappear for two days?"

Kougaiji smiled. "All will be revealed soon. Oh, yes, we have a visitor. Meet Dr. Jackal."

A man in a tuxedo entered through the door. "Good afternoon everybody..."

* * *

**_After Paul had announced that today's contest was over..._**

Ginji now thought of the problem. "If I won, and Hakkai won, this means that we need a finisher round of some sort."

Hakkai shook his head. "Ban is kinda dizzy, Gojyo hates Ban, Goku can't eat for about 5 more hours and...I don't know..."

Goku grinned. "How about if Hakkai can stand being electrocuted at 500 volts for 10 seconds, he wins total?"

Gojyo suggested another. "Who can make the tallest beer bottle castle wins."

Ginji looked at his sleeping partner. "Ban can't..."

Goku grabbed Ginji's collar. "I challenge you to a rematch! This time, the beer bottle castle thing!"

Gojyo pointed a finger at Sanzo. "The referee is drunk. I'll be ref."

Ginji gave a slight shock to Goku to let him let go. "If you win, there's no price change. If I win, then it's doubled. OK?"

Hakkai's voice came in. "That's fine with us, but what about the 25 percent off?

Ginji replied. "It stays the same." He was glad Ban was unconscious or he surely would have gotten a knock on the head. Cans were magnetic from his electricity, after all.

Gojyo poked Ginji's forehead. "No using powers."

The contest didn't last long. Ginji's castle toppled over several times, while Goku made a decent replica of a temple using eighty-four cans in thirteen minutes.

Gojyo rang a bell. "As much as I'd hate to admit it, the saru wins."

Goku cheered for himself. Gojyo couldn't help but cheer too. Ginji was still attempting to build a decent castle.

Hakkai, responsible as always, interrupted Goku and Gojyo's rejoicing. "As soon as Ban and Sanzo sober up, we go look for the sultras."

Paul threw four mops at Hakkai's head. "And as soon as you guys clean this up too." He pointed a finger at Natsumi leaving, her shift was over, and then to the mess of cake, bun wrappers, beer and cheese.

Goku sighed. "Off to work we go. It makes me want to vomit again..."

For once in his life, Ginji was able to act as a drill-sergeant.

_**End of Chapter 3**_

Ashke: See, Hakkai, that wasn't much...

Hakkai: Thanks. What else can I do?

Ashke: Teach me how to drive!

Hakkai: -sweatdrop- Umm...OK...Just don't destroy the jeep.

Ashke: You guys still haven't cleaned up the mess in the Honky Tonk.

Sanzo: I paid for everything. I'm not cleaning that up.

Ginji: You're awake?

Hakkai: He's drunk, but awake.


End file.
